Single parents, how often do people tell you, “Take time for yourself,” and “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Or ask you, “Are you doing things for you?” It’s always well-meaning, but in real life, it’s just something else to add to your ever-growing to-do list. And, I’ll say it: People are quick to tell you what to do, but rarely offer to watch the kids so you can do it, which is what you actually need in order to do anything for yourself.
So, I’m here to give you some practical suggestions for your travels with kids. Yes, it is important to find joy for yourself as a single parent. And yes, it’s possible!
Bring Help with You
Why bury the lede? This is the best way to have the most time for yourself as a traveling single parent. Bring a grandparent (or a pair of grandparents!), aunt, uncle, friend, or a nanny. You can be ultra generous and pay or use points to bring someone with you. Or maybe your preferred travel partner can afford to pay for part of all of their trip with you. Either way, be sure you’re completely clear about expectations: When you expect to need help, what kind of help (changing diapers, night time feeds, early morning wake ups, etc.), and why you need help—sometimes you just need more hands.
I brought help with me to Hawai’i, Nice, Monaco, and the Azores. It was what I needed to make those trips successful and less stressful for me. It’s not something I’ll always need (I won’t always have an infant), so it was worthwhile, especially in my first year of widowhood, when I’ve been dealing with the dreaded “widow fog.”
Also helpful: 7 Reasons Why Single Parents Should Travel with their Kids
Use a Babysitting Service
A far less expensive option is to hire a babysitter at your destination. You may or may not be comfortable with a stranger watching your child, and that is entirely up to you. Go with your gut and follow your intuition. But don’t count it out too quickly. Having just an hour or two away from your child or children on travel can lift your whole outlook. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Any time I have to leave my daughter with a babysitter, her nanny, or even my mom, I miss her and want to spend time with her. It’s better for her to experience the me like that, rather than the me who is burnt out and frazzled and feeling the weight of having to do it all by myself. I have used babysitting services in Palau and elsewhere, and it has always been a great experience for me, and for Iris!
More here: What to Do When there’s No One to Watch Your Baby on Travel
Get a Massage (the Single Parent’s BFF)
While you’ve got a babysitter, grandparent, nanny, etc., watching your baby, go get a massage! It’s not everyone’s favorite thing, but if you have any back pain, hip pain, or just need some clean, physical contact, a massage will likely help. Physical Touch is my Love Language (of the 5 Love Languages), and I get a massage whenever I can in my travels. It makes me feel calmer, it helps my body ache less, and in a small but worthwhile way, it fills that physical touch void that I have now as a widow. If you’re able to swing it, get a massage or other spa treatment on your next trip.
Also helpful: How to Practice Self Care on Travel and The Spa at the Negresco Hotel, Nice
Go to the Beach or Pool by Yourself
Studies have shown that just being near water reduces stress and improves mood. And couldn’t all single parents use that? Going by yourself means you can read, take a nap, or call that friend you want to talk to without little ears around. You don’t have to watch your kids in the water like a hawk or worry about the unthinkable happening them. You can truly relax, unplug, or read a book. Can you imagine a single parent having time to read by the beach? Committing to take time by the water for yourself as a single parent can make that dream come true!
Keep reading: 10 Things I’ve Changed My Mind about in 20 Years of Travel
Do Something Physical and Outside
Similarly to being in close proximity to water, simply moving your body and being outside will lift your mood and re-center you. Go for a hike, a run, or a walk. Do a bodyweight workout on your hotel balcony. Many accommodations offer bicycles for rent or as a complimentary amenity. I took a guided run through Waikiki while my friend watched my daughter, and it was life-giving, both for the physical benefits and just to have a conversation with a local who was so friendly and welcoming. Sometimes it’s easy for a single parent to tell themselves that going for a walk by themselves “shouldn’t” be a priority; it’s “just” a walk, after all. I challenge you go anyway. You can come back here and tell me if it doesn’t make you feel even just a little bit better and less stressed or anxious.
And have an adventure: What It’s Like Taking a Scenic Flight in Palau with a Baby
Want more? Check out my dedicated United States Page!
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