Why I Chose to Travel in My First Year of Widowhood

People were genuinely shocked when I continued to travel just two months after my husband died. “Are you sure it’s not too soon?” It was as if everyone expected me to stop my entire life and grieve in place forever in widowhood. Like I hadn’t already hit rock bottom and desperately needed to pull myself back up. 

Regardless of what anyone else thought was best for me, I knew I couldn’t stay put. I had to keep moving forward, because that’s the person I’ve always been. Everyone says the first year after the death of a loved one is the hardest, so why would I make it harder by denying myself the thing that I enjoy most, the things we used to do together? Here are the reasons why I chose to travel in the first year of my widowhood.

Travel Gives Me Life

Travel makes me feel alive. It’s my passion and my favorite pastime. At the worst time of my life, I needed the activity that could give me a glimpse at my former and future happiness. When the stress and the unknown of my widowed life overwhelmed me, I needed something positive to look forward to. For me, that was travel. Everyone was telling me to take time for myself, take care of myself, do things to bring me joy. So, I chose to travel. 

Read on: How to Truly Savor Your Travels

I had to Get Back to Normal

Travel is normal for me. For many people, travel is the exception, but when travel is your job, your hobby, and your favorite thing to do, it’s normal life. Not traveling wouldn’t have made sense in my life. I knew I couldn’t get back to normal by sitting at home doing paperwork and figuring out how to make a new life as a widow and single parent of an infant. Getting back to normal in widowhood meant getting back to travel. 

Keep reading: The Most Important Lessons Travel has Taught Me

I had to Shake out the Cobwebs

The day to day after losing your spouse is excruciating. Then, it’s the paperwork associated with the death, the grocery shopping that’s so different now that I don’t get to include his favorite foods, the laundry that’s not his anymore. No one prepares you for any of that. Every single routine thing you used to do is no longer the same routine. Everything feels kind of stagnant, sort of stale. I needed to get out of the monotony of the new life I was forced into and shake things up for myself. There’s no better way for me to do that than to go to a new place and have new experiences. 

Read next: The Luckiest Things That Ever Happened to Us on Travel

Travel Makes Me Feel Close to Steve

My husband and I met while traveling. We bonded over travel talk. We traveled throughout our life, visiting over 40 countries together in the 12 years we knew each other. When we celebrated something, we traveled. When we wanted to give each other a gift, we traveled. When we traveled, we almost always booked or at least started planning the next trip before we even got home. Travel was a huge part of our life together, so I feel closest to him when I’m traveling the world, as we would have kept doing together. Widowhood in the first year is lonely; I needed to feel close to my best friend, my Love, my one and only, my husband.

From the old life: Steve’s Best Travel Moments

I Don’t Know how much Time I have Left

Why wait? Steve had no idea our last trip together would be his last. He was healthy, living his dream life, had no indication that his life was about to end. That’s the thing about an accident—there is no warning and no time to prepare or say goodbye. I could be in a car accident today. I could fall and get a head injury. I could choke to death like my husband did. So why wait for a “better” time to do anything? None of us knows how much time we have left. Why wouldn’t I travel to the places I’ve always wanted to go? Why would I waste my precious little life waiting? Waiting for what?

More here: The 7 Reasons Single Parents Should Travel with Their Kids

It’s what Steve would want Me to Do

This is the most important factor: My continuing to travel would make him happy for me. He’s not here to comfort me, talk with me, travel with me. But he wouldn’t want me to sit and live in depression and sadness for the rest of my life. He would want me to keep doing what brings me joy, and to continue showing Iris the world, too. In life, he was always looking for ways to bring me joy and happiness. I know he would want me to travel, so that’s what I did in my first year, and what I’ll continue to do for the rest of my life of widowhood, no matter how long or short. 

Related: The 5 Ways I Remember My Husband on Travel

Want more? Check out my dedicated Widow Travel Page.

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