Overwhelmed. It’s the way I feel all the time since my husband passed away, making me the single parent of a six-month-old. Even with a nanny, parents who are willing to fly 600 miles to help me a few times a year, and a widow network of friends who are willing to step in when they can, it’s a lot. As a travel writer, however, staying home all the time and wallowing in the overwhelm was never an option. So, I had to figure out how to travel with a baby, by myself.
Has it been flawless? No way. Has it been worth doing? Every time. I’m so glad to be showing my daughter the world, exploring new places together, and going back to places that were special to my husband and me. I’ve taken dozens of trips with my daughter since becoming a single parent, and these are the best tips to help you make it happen for yourself–and your baby.
Plan One Activity a Day
This is the headline, and the secret to my own single parent travel success: Plan exactly one main activity per day. Sure, if you can fit more into the day, that’s great! But think of that as frosting on the cake. It’s a lot of effort to get a baby ready for the day, plus yourself. It’s always going to take more time than you think it will to get going in the morning. So, don’t over commit. Right-size those expectations, and take it from a former do-everything-you-can-in-a-day-because-you-may-never-be-back traveler: One main activity is enough for one day. Again, you can do more if you have the time and energy! Just set yourself up for success from the start, and go from there.
More here: The Best Travel Gear for Single Parents
Stay Close to the Things You Want to Do
I can’t emphasize this enough. I know you’re trying to save some money, but trust me, it’s worth the extra cost to stay at an accommodation in the city center, or close to whatever it is you’re there to do and see. You’ll save time and money by not needing to commute twice a day, and you’ll be able to go back to your hotel for naps, blowout changes, general rest, etc. Your life is already hard enough in ways you never expected. Don’t make it harder if you don’t have to. Your convenience, your time, your energy, and your lower stress level are all worth paying that little bit extra to stay in the best location.
Read next: Your Ultimate Guide to Accommodations
Find out what’s Available where You’ll Be
Diapers, wipes, and snacks are available almost everywhere–every country around the world has babies! It may not be your preferred brand or type, but it’ll work in a pinch. And if you don’t have to pack these things, that’s less to remember, less to forget, less to take up space in your carry-on or checked luggage. Yes, take enough for your travel day(s), plus another day on the ground until you can get to a store, but generally, you’ll be able to find whatever you need for your baby wherever you are. Just do a little Googling in advance to have an idea of what’s available.
Keep reading: The Best Airplane Snacks for Babies and Toddlers
If You’re Flying, Find out Where the Bassinet is Located
Use of an airplane bassist is usually free, but you have to be sitting in the correct seat to use it. They can’t just set it up anywhere, unfortunately, only in the bulkhead. Also unfortunately, you can’t necessarily see where it’s available on the seat map when choosing your seat, and because not all planes are configured the same, you can’t count on your previous experience to be the same as your next experience. It’s worth your while to call the airline and ask about it after you book your flight and ask if you can sit where the bassinet is located. The benefit of the bassinet is to have somewhere to put your baby when you need your hands. This is very helpful for single parents, who only have two hands to deal with.
Read on: The Best Tips for Flying with a Baby in the USA
Wear the Baby if You’re Able
This is the most important piece of my travel strategy: Wearing the baby. This allows me to have my hands free. It also forces me to only take what we really need in the diaper bag, since I have to wear that on my back instead of tossing it into a stroller. It works for me, but I realize it’s not for everyone. If you can, though, you’ll have so much more flexibility when wearing your baby instead of using a stroller. Aside from having your hands free for the zillions of things you have to hold or pick up, you can also navigate curbs, steps, and weave in and out of a crowd as needed.
More here: The Top 7 Reasons Why Single Parents Should Travel with Their Kids
Strategize with Naps in Mind
Thankfully, my baby sleeps really well in her carrier. Maybe that’s the same for you, or maybe you need to make sure you’re back in your hotel room so your baby can sleep in the crib. Either way, or whatever way it happens, give yourself permission to plan and strategize your travels around naps. I like to make sure I’m going to be somewhere that my daughter will be able to sleep when we’re out and about. Sometimes that’s back in the hotel room, sometimes that’s outside at a park with a nice view. Occasionally that’s in a car or on a train (white noise and movement, of course), and other times it’s while I’m on a walking tour and she’s attached to me. Strategize for naps as you can, when it’s possible.
Read next: Tips for Flying Long-haul with a Baby
Take Lots of Photos
Make sure you’re in those photos, too. I know it’s hard to do for lots of reasons. Photography is a huge part of my job, and even I often think, “Ugh. I don’t have the brain power to do this right now.” And, “I want to be present in the moment, and if I take out my phone for a picture, I’m setting a terrible example for my daughter.” (Not true, actually.) And I’ve even thought, “I just want to get through this, and stopping for a photo will slow me down.”
It’s okay to feel that way, and to not feel guilty about that. I do want to encourage you to take more photos, though. Let someone else take your photo together if they offer. I have definitely gotten back to the hotel where I’m staying after an epic experience with my daughter and realized I only had one or two photos, and they weren’t that great. Or, I didn’t have any photos at all! Mentally prepare to take more photos when you travel. Memories fade, but photos are tangible reminders.
Keep reading: 10 Things I’ve Changed My Mind about in 20 Years of Travel
The Best Toy is Not a Toy
I brought way too many toys with me on flights early on, and you know what my baby wanted to play with? The plastic cups on airplanes; a travel-size, solid sunscreen container; my chapstick tube; and the zipper on my jacket. Sure, bring a thin book or two. Bring their favorite bathtub toy from home. Bring that thing they love to play with non-stop. But also, remember that the best toy is whatever you might have on-hand. Don’t stress about it!
Read more: How to Spend a Month Abroad with a Toddler (even as a single parent!)
Asking for Help is Not a Failure
You don’t have to do it all alone. Look for hotels that offer babysitting services. I’ve used this amenity before, and it was great! Flight attendants have always been happy to hold the baby (even if she was crying) so that I could go to the bathroom. You might not even have to ask for help–just accept it when offered. Plan to accept the help. Need an example?
I can 100% tote my carry-on, personal item, diaper bag, baby, and gate-checkable car seat bag down the jet bridge, but when a man at EWR offered to heft the bulky, heavy car seat bag for me, I accepted! You can, too. Let someone put your luggage in an overhead bin and get it back down again. You’re not taking advantage of anyone, especially if they offer to help. Accept or ask for the help you need.
Read next: What to Do When There’s No One to Watch Your Baby on Travel
Bringing Help is Also Not a Failure
Still feeling like a panic attack is looming? Join the club. You know what else is okay to do? Plan to bring someone with you. You can travel with friends, family, a nanny, or a trusted babysitter. I’ve also met up with friends at destinations, and knowing there was help coming on the other side of that flight made all the difference in my mindset. You can do it by yourself, but you don’t have to, especially early in your single parent journey. You can absolutely make the trip what you want or need it to be. Every time you travel, you’ll gain the confidence that you can do it. And then you do.
More here: The Top 5 Reasons Why It’s Okay to Travel with Help as a Single Parent
Want more? Check out my dedicated Single Parent Travel Page!
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