Have you ever considered bringing help with you on a trip with your baby? It seems extravagant, I’ll admit. But after unexpectedly becoming a single parent to a six-month-old, I knew I needed help in order to keep traveling the way I needed to–both for work and for a glimmer of joy in my life. I told my husband in jest, just three days before he died, “I don’t have enough hands to be a single parent.” And it’s true. I don’t have enough hands. That’s why single parents need help. Don’t believe me? Here are the 5 best reasons to travel with help as the single parent of a baby.
You Only Have so Many Hands
Babies need a lot of attention. A lot of chasing. A lot of holding. A lot of grabbing away from danger, especially in new and unfamiliar places. There are supposed to be two parents, with two sets of hands, to take care of a baby. Everything from changing diapers and feeding, to midnight wake ups and just getting from point A to point B, it all takes a lot of hands–often more than you have in your possession. Let someone be there to help you. Maybe it’s a friend, maybe it’s a family member, maybe it’s a nanny, but let it be someone who knows what to do already, so you don’t have to teach them on the fly. That’s frustrating.
This also helps: The Best Travel Gear for Single Parents
You Only Have so Many Eyes
Similarly to hands, you’ve only got two eyes. It’s entirely unrealistic to expect yourself to watch your baby all the time, without distraction, in a new and unfamiliar place. Once my daughter started crawling, and then walking, I knew I needed extra help not only to chase her, but to watch her. It’s okay to know when you need help. I’d even dare to say it’s healthy to know yourself well enough to realize you can’t do everything on your own. There are supposed to be two people taking care of a baby, remember? When you travel with help, you have the extra eyes to keep your baby safe and ease your anxiety.
More here: The 7 Reasons Single Parents Should Travel with Their Kids
You Need Time to Yourself
You need time to be “off duty,” especially when you’re traveling. The stress of travel, although a good kind of stress, is still a lot to shoulder on your own with baby in tow. You’ve been through so much more than a young mom should, and now you’re having to do it all alone. But you don’t have to. You can bring help! By bringing someone to help you, you can get a workout in. Go for a run. Get coffee and read for half an hour (or more). Take a surf lesson at the beach, go to a museum and enjoy a grown-up meal at a nice restaurant. Go to the spa! Get some time to yourself so you can take care of your baby and be there for him or her in ways that are meaningful. It’s okay to travel with help, and to let them help you.
Keep reading: The Ultimate Single Mom Hacks for Traveling with a Baby
Your Baby Wants Someone They Know
I have used hotel babysitters before, and I will 100% do it again as needed. However, there is a greater sense of ease when putting your baby in the care of someone they know. My daughter is a “people baby,” like some people are a “people person.” She often goes up to strangers and reaches up for them to hold her. Even so, she has phases of major separation anxiety. It’s better for us in these times to travel with help that she’s familiar with. Iris has loved both of her nannies, and they have both traveled with us at different times. It’s great for my daughter, and the people who have traveled with us–nannies, family, friends–have enjoyed the travel and enjoyed Iris. And for me, it’s good to have the company, and to know I don’t have to do it all on my own.
Read next: How to Treat Yourself as a Single Parent on Travel
You Won’t Need this much Help Forever
There is definitely an added expense to have someone travel with you, unless they can pay their own way. That extra plane ticket, extra hotel room, and extra food really add up, then if you bring a nanny, their pay has to go into the budget, too. I pay a flat fee for up to 10 days, but you can do it however you and your nanny agree to arrange their pay. I use airline and hotel points to make this attainable, and I pay for everything with my rewards-earning credit card, which I pay off every month. Even still, how can I, a lifetime saver, never a spender, justify this even to myself?
Here’s how: I remind myself that I won’t need this much help forever. When Iris is a little older, she’ll be able to do more for herself. Once she’s potty trained, there won’t be 60 diapers a week to change. I’ll do my best to make sure she knows she has to listen to me and knows how to follow directions and stop at crosswalks. She’ll be able to carry her own carry-on eventually. Some things will be harder, but the travel tasks will be easier. I hope. And I won’t need to travel with help when she’s 10, or maybe even five. We’ll be able to do it ourselves. But for now, I need help. It’s okay to need help, and bring help.
Also this: Tips for Flying in United Polaris with a Baby
Want more? Check out my dedicated Single Parent Travel Page.
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